Sunday, Bloody Sunday (AKA Tech Rehearsal...)

I don't know why, but tech rehearsal is always scheduled for Sundays. Which means grumpy, grouchy, downright MEAN actors in their day jobs the following Monday - especially if tech rehearsal ends at an indecent hour.

Take our tech rehearsal for Children of Eden, which was yesterday - 2:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. By the time I got home following changing and making sure everything was in it's spot, it was - yup, you guessed it - MIDNIGHT. Ten hours of rehearsal. Ten loooooooooong hours.

Tech rehearsal, for those of you unfamiliar with theatre jargon, is when the sound, lights, special effects, wardrobe, props, set construction, stage manager, and everyone else above and beyond the actors involved-people in the show get together with the director(s) and scratch their heads and God knows what else trying to figure out how all the pieces-parts fit together to make a coherent visual and audial vision.

Actors should show up promptly at 2:00, get into their costumes, alert the Wardrobe Mistress of any alterations or repairs that may be necessary, and then be prepared to: sit.

...and sit.

...and sit.

But should NOT, under any circumstances, LEAVE the theatre for any reason whatsoever, because when the director wants the actors on stage, he wants them on stage NOW: if you hold everyone else up because you aren't present and accounted for, then you are an ignoble SLOB and you are WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME.

Additionally, actors should come PREPARED, with LINES MEMORIZED, knowing ALL STAGE DIRECTIONS and BLOCKING and WARMED UP to PERFORM during the rehearsal.

Unfortunately, it seems that a few of my fellow actors in this particular production didn't get their job description sheet, or else they just didn't care that they were being IGNOBLE SLOBS and WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME.

It's not that I begrudge anyone's missing a few cues or being in the wrong place once in a while (because, of course, this would be hypocritical.) But I think that after THREE MONTHS of preparation, we should all probably be OFF THE BOOK at least, with some sense as to what we are supposed to be doing while we are on stage under a spotlight. This could just be me; I tend to be a little anal retentive about things about which I am passionate; like theatre, for example.

It could also be that I would prefer we NOT look like blithering idiots on stage. (Again, I know, I'm expecting a lot.) I mean, we've only had rehearsal three times a week, every week, since the beginning of September. And the woman playing Yonah - well, she was only able to make it to five or six of those rehearsals, seeing as she has a job and a new fiance outside of the production, so of course her responsibilities are overwhelming. And the man playing Japheth - well, he's a single guy with no fiancee, but he also has a full-time job alongside a very busy social calendar, so I guess that he's overwhelmed, too. I, on the other hand, with my full time job, three dogs, husband and two year old daughter, conference presentation, article editing for publication, and graduate class, have somehow managed to squeeze in the memorization of my parts (yes, more than one) as well as Yonah's part, which I am understudying, "just in case". God has a full time job as a school media specialist and cares for his mother and sister; he's memorized his part. Adam is an optometrist, and Eve(his real-life wife, isn't that CUTE?!) is a teacher, and they have two kids - but they memorized THEIR parts. In fact, pretty much everybody in the production with real responsibilities outside of the show has their part down more or less pat, yet Single Yonah and Single Japheth - they can't seem to memorize their lines or songs. Things that make you go "hmmmmn."

Clearly, no one can expect either Yonah or Japheth to have memorized their part at this juncture. They know MOST of their lines, after all. I mean, we go on- when? This coming Friday? Oh, yes, it is WAAaaaaay too early for them to have their shit together. And staging? Oh, staging their scenes is the director's job. They could not possibly come up with something nice and romantic on their own. SOMEBODY has to DIRECT their relationship, they are incapable, as actors, of memorizing their songs or their lines, how in HELL could someone expect them to create a scene?!

(If you're sensing rage here, DO keep in mind that we were there until almost midnight last night, partly because every scene with Dear Yonah and Darling Japheth had to be redone or was accompanied with several minutes' worth of director's notes as to how to fix it. Plus, Japheth is doubling as Cain - so we had to sit through THOSE scenes and notes, too. So, I'm not in the best of moods.) Have you ever noticed how some people are just oblivious to the fact that their irresponsibility affects everyone around them and causes major problems? As in, we have thirty kids in this cast and all of them were up until midnight on a school night?! Poor babies. When the director called for the final scene, parents had to wake them up to get through it. I'm sure we didn't sound so hot at that point, with thirty sleepy and grouchy voices belting out the finale "so we can go home." But, hey, Yonah and Japheth's social lives come before the play and these kids' education. Interesting that they are both teachers themselves...Again, things that make you go, "hmmmmmmn."

On the plus side, the Director seems to have a show, overall. I am always amazed at how this man can take chaos and shape it into organized chaos with everyone on the same beat and rhythm! Magic. Sorcery. (No, wait - I mean, ten hour rehearsal, followed by subsequent five hour rehearsal every night this week...but I digress.)

But for all the complaining I have done in this entry, we have a beautiful show. Our stage crew is The Best, the kids have been Incredible, God's voice is -well, frankly, it's HEAVENLY, and Adam and Eve are wonderful. Mama rocks the house in "Ain't It Good" - and, hey, we storytellers do a little rockin' and rollin' ourselves on "Generations"! I think the audience will, for the most part, be pleased. Once again, HCLT pulls it off at the last minute, under the wire, two minutes in the quarter, the bases loaded - I think we may well have a Grand Slam.

Assuming we get some sleep and that certain folks come PREPARED, with ALL LINES MEMORIZED, knowing ALL STAGE DIRECTIONS and WARMED UP TO PERFORM.

OK, not really holding my breath - but hoping for a Home Run, anyhow.